How I Had to Let Go as a Perfectionist In Order to Reach My Goal: Stress Less

Do you tend towards perfectionism? Yes? Me too. Why? I don’t know.

As a perfectionist striving for balance every day, I can say that it’s an ongoing journey that requires maintenance. It doesn’t work this way: You, all of the sudden one day, AREN’T a perfectionist anymore. You just get better at life balance if that is something you value and desire for yourself.

For me, it would often be 1 of 2 choices:

I’d do something that I wanted or needed to do only if it could be done “perfectly,” or I wouldn’t do it at all. You can imagine where this often led. I place “perfectly” in quotes because…

What is perfect anyway? It’s not a state of being, it’s only a perception.

And… as a good student of how our mind works, I know that fortunately we can modify our perceptions!

Here are some ways I let go so that I could stress less about these everyday life occurrences.

gold geometric shape

  1. The way my kids’ clothes are folded. Might be an odd thing to be so anal about, but that’s me! I decided I didn’t have to do all of the folding simply so the items met my folding standards. (Yes, these standards are rigorous.) The kids can fold and put away their own clothes. Sure, we sometimes can’t find an item since I had no hand in the laundry, but I guess that’s the tradeoff!
    • What are you overly particular about? Have you ever tried to let some of that go?

Thinking about laundry, this happens to be a perfect segue into the next point…

  1. Trying to get my kids to wear the perfectly curated outfit. You know all of those images you see with the expertly dressed children? I can’t help wanting to outfit my beautiful children in beautiful ensembles. Alas! My daughter just wouldn’t have it, starting even at the age of 3. I’m not sure if it was worse then or now. I used to get so worked up about her outfit choices until I made a conscious decision to let this go. I won’t say it was easy- it definitely took some time for me to feel ok about it. However, this doesn’t mean that I maintain zero boundaries. (A.K.A. My son is not allowed to wear sweatpants everywhere.) And give yourself some grace in your goals. I’ll admit that at times even now, I just have to put my foot down about what my daughter tries to walk out of the house in.

  1. Getting the entire to-do list done in 1 day. What big accomplishments only take a single day anyway? I’d make this huge list, then the end of the day would come with only like 1/3 of the tasks complete. There’d be this palpable lack of satisfaction, and sometimes I’d feel an outright sense of failure. I didn’t nix the lists (c’mon, that would be INSANE!) Instead, I reworked my thought process to yield a mindset shift on how I viewed them. And… I learned how to write my lists more effectively. I began to organize them better, build them in such a way to make the tasks achievable, and taught myself the art of setting reasonable deadlines.

All 3 of these examples are shifts I made in my own life, which led to greater daily satisfaction with less stress or feelings of overwhelm.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how much of a perfectionist would you consider yourself?

Have you ever tried to make changes in your life in search of balance? Fill out my contact form if you’d find a coach helpful in succeeding at this goal.

Thanks for reading.

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Yoga instructor and mental wellness coach Charlotte Wrzesinski

Hi, I'm Charlotte!

I wear many hats and understand everyday, real-life stress.

I am a mom, wife, pharmacist, yoga and meditation instructor, and mental wellness coach. I started focusing on wellness after having my second child as a means to manage stress, improve my own overall state of wellbeing, and become more balanced.

My transformation was so powerful that I made it my mission to help others achieve and maintain wellness in their lives.

Learn More About Me +

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